~Katall

The most difficult tasks are those you MUST complete alone. However, this does not make them impossible.

If you cannot survive these tasks alone without compromising yourself, then you were never the person you claimed to be. That makes you a fake.

The first soul I will speak of was deceitful, acting strong when the times were kind. It's easy to be strong when there is no trouble. And they all loved her because they believed she was strong, when they were weak and needed help. And, confident in her ability to keep up the game, she made herself seem confident in the abilities of others, so that she would not be called upon to aid them in their times of troubles. Without aid from her, these people learned to survive on their own, and grew stronger than she was. Still, she saw no trouble, refused to believe her weakness. But then, things started to wrong, and she lost a great deal of what little strength she really had. Shortly after things started to go wrong, she lost her will to fight against the troubles invading her life, and instead ran, terrified and weak. The battle wasn't in her favor, so why bother? And no one blamed her for her surrender, or so it seemed. And when she was cut down by these troubles, she fell. She never even tried to pick herself back up, recover or rise above her troubles in the slightest. She just kept falling. And because nobody could catch her in her fall, protect her in her weakness, not knowing that she was never strong, she assumed they abandoned her, down at the bottom of a hole. And there she sits, to this day, cursing the names of everyone above, while they are busy making rope. For those who became strong on their own watched her as she fell, knowing full well the truth.

The second soul I will speak of was prideful, and found her strength by removing pieces of her soul. Without anything to guide her, she felt a great emptiness, as many do when they are not fulfilling their heart's desires, and while some sought superficial methods of hiding the pain of such emptiness, she despised those who did for their lack of drive to find what they truly yearned for. Because she believed this inner emptiness to be a secret to great strength, she fed upon it hungrily. But the more she fed upon the emptiness and drew what she believed was strength from it, the more it in turn took from her soul. Until, one day, she was as empty as those she despised. Without her soul, her heart could not speak to her, and because of this, she fulfills nothing but the wishes of others, having no will or passion of her own.

These two souls have flaws that no one could hope to undo. They are doomed. This saddens me. My eyes see no future for them. They were good friends, good travelers.

I cannot wander for a while. There is serious business that demands my full attention.

Somebody ate their Thinking Wheaties yesterday. I now have a much stronger Internet connection.

No complaints there.

I am currently writing a mystery story. Look for parts of it here before the end of this month, probably.




"Thinking Wheaties" trademark © 2007 CaTo. All rights reserved.

I've made a decision: the old story will not return in this place.

I will instead tell other stories here until I move my works elsewhere.

Feel free to ask for a story time, no matter who you are. I can take two days to write a nice short story, and I could use some inspiration in requests. Short stories help me write out my very long story.

And YOU! Stop missing your medication! You have strep throat, you stupid ass!

Most of the time, what I write here is purely for the sake of introspection and release of the unkind thoughts that pervade my mind. I have thousands of these awful thoughts, and after repressing them for long enough, those horrendous opinions and ideas get themselves lodged in my mind where they do not leave no matter how psychotically unreasonable they are. When I write them here, I can remove them completely from my mind, and move on to being the borderline-reasonable human being that people in my daily life recognize and tolerate. Keep a clean slate, cognitive faculties stay in good working order. However, it seems that SOME people take offense to the horrible things I think and dump off here. Perfectly within their rights, especially when they are directly implicated in these words. Not knowing the premise and context of my writings in this place, they are fully justified in their perceptions. I've apologized to those offended for the misunderstanding, and have gone so far as to remove the writings involved so as not to continue offending these people. These actions I have performed of my own will, without prompting or request by the offended parties. These people are my friends, and while I disagree with them on certain points, I respect them for their abilities and character.

This is the only type of circumstance under which I will censor myself. This specific issue is one that deserves proper and immediate resolution, and for this complication I am truly sorry. However, I do not apologize for thinking or feeling. Thoughts and emotions are an inalienable right of human beings, no matter what those thoughts and feelings are. Regardless of whether or not I continue to think or feel those things, I have the right to release them the moment I am aware of them. Anyone does, regardless of propriety or the societal norms that govern such behavior, and using this space, which is simultaneously public and private, seems to be one of the better methods to do so. If anyone outside of this type of circumstance tells me to censor myself, I will have the following three words to say, willfully granted me by the wise and intelligent Randall Munroe.

Fuck. That. Shit.

It should have been a simple, five-minute conversation. Now it gets complicated.

Some people just don't appreciate a good double-blind con. I am not one of those people.

the terms are set, victory is clear. As Robert said, now all that is needed is patience. I can tolerate surrender for a little longer.